Poverty and the UK Nanny State #2

By Malgwyn | December 14, 2008

Melanie Phillip’s article on child poverty and dysfunctional families in the Daily Mail (8 Dec 08), sends me back to the tough times for my younger days. Four years after the death of my mother my father remarried when I was ten. Going on 16 my sister left home - to fend for herself in the big wide world. Seeing us through our critical years playing the role as mother as well as big sister her task was done at home, only to face other hardships that come in fending for one’s self at a young age on one’s own. But her domestic and social skills along with learned employment skills and Christian values paid dividends in the happy and fruitful years for herself and her family - and society, and still a positive influence on my own life when I left home before aged 17. Unfortunately, the dreaded big C interrupted before she could enjoy and be proud of her 7 talented grandchildren who have brought delight to others in music and - seeing themselves through university to follow their different careers.
I reflect on this because poverty is often said to be the cause of dysfunctional families. Poor we may have been but we were raised with family and social values - bolstered by a strong Christian influence - at school as well as at home and church - something that is sadly missing in many parts of the UK today. Politics - nor science - has all the answers.
As with many single parents who have legitimate needs today I am sure my father could have done with more help than he got, and perhaps he could have handled things better than he did, but there was no Nanny State dependency culture then as we have today - we learned to look after ourselves and not depend on others to look after us. We learned domestic and craft skills to prepare us for life - to help us to maintain and raise our own families and to encourage and help our children to do the same.
I am not saying my folks always got it right. They knew they didn’t, and I know - I was happy to leave home myself before I was 17. My brother had done the same a few years before. But I know I haven’t always got it right either. I appreciate learning that life skills came first to equip ourselves to work and prepare for marriage and family. It was in that order. The articles by Harriett Sergeant and Melanie Phillips highlights how this has been reversed today. Young folk can have children before learning life skills, and expect the Nanny State to fund their lifestyle. They then become the role model for the children they raise. Life for many it seems has become blighted due to a complete shift in our social mores; a cause contributing to today’s child poverty that the Joseph Rowntree Foundation may not have included in its reporting. It’s a very worrying picture of our current social order in the UK. Poor our family may have been it was not short on the essential values to equip us for life. From the things I see about me, and from the things I read such as by Harriet Sergeant and Melanie Phillips I consider my upbringing, with all its failures and shortcomings, to have been quite privileged.

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